Up til now I've had two Colonoscopy procedures. The first changed my life when cancer was discovered. The second reassured me that the procedures I had endured up til then were not in vain. On February 26th, I would undergo the Colonoscopy process for a third time.
Two weeks prior to my appointment I met with the doctor that would perform the procedure. We went over what would happen, discussed the risks (minimal), and when I left the office I had a prescription for Purge-O-Dan. More importantly, I was confident that I would be in good hands. I would endure the ordeal that is the purge, which consists mostly of eating Jello and drinking a lot of liquids. And a visit or two (or 17) to the washroom. I would endure the cold and soreness that seems to be my constant companion these days. On the day of the procedure I would wear my extra heavy wool socks. They'll let you keep those on at least.
I arrive at the Hospital almost an hour before my appointment. I'm registered first in the Admitting department, and am handed some paperwork for the next phase. This next phase is to wander through the maze of corridors to arrive at the waiting room for my procedure. I deposit my freshly printed paperwork, and wait for my name to be called. By arriving early, you get the full benefit of waiting, which apparently is More Waiting and Thinking What's About to Happen To You.
I can't read with my eReader, I can't concentrate and I'm cold and tired. I pace and wander around. I look at the signs posted on the wall, which proclaim 'No Food Or Drink in This Area'. I look at the chairs provided, some of which have beverage holders. I strive to keep myself occupied, but don't succeed. In actuality I probably don't wait that long. My name is eventually called. My Colonoscopy is inching nearer...
Every Hospital procedure requires that a patient be gowned in Hospital-issued clothing. As mentioned earlier, I was able to keep my warm socks. Since having a Colonoscopy means curtailing calories for several days before the procedure, your body doesn't have all the fuel it needs to keep you comfortable. For me, having a Colonoscopy in Winter means no chance of being warm and comfortable. Wearing only a Hospital gown doesn't help. Fortunately I would be in a bed for the remainder of the process. Nurses would hook up an IV to my arm, and sensors would be attached to my chest. I would have sticky tape residue on me for days afterwards. I can honestly say that the only pain in the entire process was removing the tape. Even though I'm in a bed I'm encumered with wires and tubes but figure I can probably read something now. Then I realize that my eReader is in my jacket pocket. In a bag. Under the bed. It may as well be locked away in an underground vault in Greenland. Instead I close my eyes and try to rest. That doesn't work, but it gives me something to do.
Soon enough my bed (with me along for the ride!) is wheeled into the procedure suite. Anesthesiologist, Doctor, Nurse, and Nursing Student are attending. I'm going to be a learning experience for someone. Hopefully a positive experience for everyone involved. My nurses are fussing over the sensors, apparently they're not adhering properly to my chest. More waiting while the sensors are adjusted. My glasses are gently removed by someone. I'm asked to turn on my side. The procedure is ready to begin. I wonder when it will start...
I wake up in the recovery room. My procedure was probably 20 minutes, but I have no recollection of the exam or being brought back to the recovery room. I was asleep for the entire process. Now that time has passed, I can piece together the conversation that I had with my doctor about what he found during the process: A polyp was removed, near the original surgery site. There was some concern about the scar tissue, and the polyp would be sent for a biopsy. I would leave the Hospital positive that everything was fine. I would add this to my list of 'routine, boring, ho-hum' tests.
Your stay in the recovery area for a while. How long depends on several factors: Your doctor's recommendations of course, but more importantly by a fundamental action you need to perform: Pass Gas. The longer it takes to achieve this result, the longer you remain in the hospital. Suffice it to say that my lone technical contribution to that day's process was achieved. Several times. I could go home.
You are not allowed to drive, operate heavy equipment, and should not make financial decisions when you are just out of surgery. My caregiver was my chauffeur and my first decision of the day after I left the hospital was to eat something that wasn't Jello.
I would later find out that yogurt is probably the better way to resume normal eating activities: it's not so hard on your gut to restart its normal processing. Yogurt would certainly be gentler than the breakfast fare I had that morning. I really wasn't that hungry, but I was very tired. I would spent the remainder of the day alternately napping followed by bouts of doing nothing. I had successfully completed my third Colonoscopy. Now all I had to do is wait for the results.
When I left the Hospital, I was given an information packet that indicated I was to contact my doctor's office within six weeks to discuss the results of my procedure. I called the next day and was politely informed that the biopsy would be a few days. And a few days later I received a call: my follow up would be on March 20th, almost a month away. I felt confident that I had breezed through my Colonoscopy without issue. Then on Monday, March 10th I received another call, this time from my Oncologist. She had read my results, and there were some concerns. In two days I was being asked to come in and see her to discuss the findings.
During that intervening time I thought a lot about what this discovery meant. Would it mean a little detour on my journey, or the start of a path through uncharted territory? I didn't sleep well for those two nights, and I thought a lot of what I had gone through and wondered if I could do it again. In two days I'd know more, but until then I'd just have to wait.
Finally one more observation: the title of this post is: 'A Saga, Posing Twists'. It's an Anagram for 'waiting to pass gas'. Who says you can't have fun with a Colonoscopy?
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