What I know so far
Is that the Sun is shining
Spring is near
and I have Cancer
What I know so far
Is that I am alive
The days are growing warmer
and my question needs an answer
What I know so far
Is that my life has meaning
my future is always changing
and I can cope
What I know so far
Is that I am loved
my fears will fade away
and I have Hope.
Written March 21st, 2014, nearly a month after my Colonoscopy showed cancer in my colon. I don't know staging, or prognosis. I won't know til my doctors review the CT scan of a few days ago. The results may be insignificant or may be life-altering. For now, for today, life goes on, and I go with it.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
A Saga, Posing Twists
Up til now I've had two Colonoscopy procedures. The first changed my life when cancer was discovered. The second reassured me that the procedures I had endured up til then were not in vain. On February 26th, I would undergo the Colonoscopy process for a third time.
Two weeks prior to my appointment I met with the doctor that would perform the procedure. We went over what would happen, discussed the risks (minimal), and when I left the office I had a prescription for Purge-O-Dan. More importantly, I was confident that I would be in good hands. I would endure the ordeal that is the purge, which consists mostly of eating Jello and drinking a lot of liquids. And a visit or two (or 17) to the washroom. I would endure the cold and soreness that seems to be my constant companion these days. On the day of the procedure I would wear my extra heavy wool socks. They'll let you keep those on at least.
I arrive at the Hospital almost an hour before my appointment. I'm registered first in the Admitting department, and am handed some paperwork for the next phase. This next phase is to wander through the maze of corridors to arrive at the waiting room for my procedure. I deposit my freshly printed paperwork, and wait for my name to be called. By arriving early, you get the full benefit of waiting, which apparently is More Waiting and Thinking What's About to Happen To You.
I can't read with my eReader, I can't concentrate and I'm cold and tired. I pace and wander around. I look at the signs posted on the wall, which proclaim 'No Food Or Drink in This Area'. I look at the chairs provided, some of which have beverage holders. I strive to keep myself occupied, but don't succeed. In actuality I probably don't wait that long. My name is eventually called. My Colonoscopy is inching nearer...
Every Hospital procedure requires that a patient be gowned in Hospital-issued clothing. As mentioned earlier, I was able to keep my warm socks. Since having a Colonoscopy means curtailing calories for several days before the procedure, your body doesn't have all the fuel it needs to keep you comfortable. For me, having a Colonoscopy in Winter means no chance of being warm and comfortable. Wearing only a Hospital gown doesn't help. Fortunately I would be in a bed for the remainder of the process. Nurses would hook up an IV to my arm, and sensors would be attached to my chest. I would have sticky tape residue on me for days afterwards. I can honestly say that the only pain in the entire process was removing the tape. Even though I'm in a bed I'm encumered with wires and tubes but figure I can probably read something now. Then I realize that my eReader is in my jacket pocket. In a bag. Under the bed. It may as well be locked away in an underground vault in Greenland. Instead I close my eyes and try to rest. That doesn't work, but it gives me something to do.
Soon enough my bed (with me along for the ride!) is wheeled into the procedure suite. Anesthesiologist, Doctor, Nurse, and Nursing Student are attending. I'm going to be a learning experience for someone. Hopefully a positive experience for everyone involved. My nurses are fussing over the sensors, apparently they're not adhering properly to my chest. More waiting while the sensors are adjusted. My glasses are gently removed by someone. I'm asked to turn on my side. The procedure is ready to begin. I wonder when it will start...
I wake up in the recovery room. My procedure was probably 20 minutes, but I have no recollection of the exam or being brought back to the recovery room. I was asleep for the entire process. Now that time has passed, I can piece together the conversation that I had with my doctor about what he found during the process: A polyp was removed, near the original surgery site. There was some concern about the scar tissue, and the polyp would be sent for a biopsy. I would leave the Hospital positive that everything was fine. I would add this to my list of 'routine, boring, ho-hum' tests.
Your stay in the recovery area for a while. How long depends on several factors: Your doctor's recommendations of course, but more importantly by a fundamental action you need to perform: Pass Gas. The longer it takes to achieve this result, the longer you remain in the hospital. Suffice it to say that my lone technical contribution to that day's process was achieved. Several times. I could go home.
You are not allowed to drive, operate heavy equipment, and should not make financial decisions when you are just out of surgery. My caregiver was my chauffeur and my first decision of the day after I left the hospital was to eat something that wasn't Jello.
I would later find out that yogurt is probably the better way to resume normal eating activities: it's not so hard on your gut to restart its normal processing. Yogurt would certainly be gentler than the breakfast fare I had that morning. I really wasn't that hungry, but I was very tired. I would spent the remainder of the day alternately napping followed by bouts of doing nothing. I had successfully completed my third Colonoscopy. Now all I had to do is wait for the results.
When I left the Hospital, I was given an information packet that indicated I was to contact my doctor's office within six weeks to discuss the results of my procedure. I called the next day and was politely informed that the biopsy would be a few days. And a few days later I received a call: my follow up would be on March 20th, almost a month away. I felt confident that I had breezed through my Colonoscopy without issue. Then on Monday, March 10th I received another call, this time from my Oncologist. She had read my results, and there were some concerns. In two days I was being asked to come in and see her to discuss the findings.
During that intervening time I thought a lot about what this discovery meant. Would it mean a little detour on my journey, or the start of a path through uncharted territory? I didn't sleep well for those two nights, and I thought a lot of what I had gone through and wondered if I could do it again. In two days I'd know more, but until then I'd just have to wait.
Finally one more observation: the title of this post is: 'A Saga, Posing Twists'. It's an Anagram for 'waiting to pass gas'. Who says you can't have fun with a Colonoscopy?
Two weeks prior to my appointment I met with the doctor that would perform the procedure. We went over what would happen, discussed the risks (minimal), and when I left the office I had a prescription for Purge-O-Dan. More importantly, I was confident that I would be in good hands. I would endure the ordeal that is the purge, which consists mostly of eating Jello and drinking a lot of liquids. And a visit or two (or 17) to the washroom. I would endure the cold and soreness that seems to be my constant companion these days. On the day of the procedure I would wear my extra heavy wool socks. They'll let you keep those on at least.
I arrive at the Hospital almost an hour before my appointment. I'm registered first in the Admitting department, and am handed some paperwork for the next phase. This next phase is to wander through the maze of corridors to arrive at the waiting room for my procedure. I deposit my freshly printed paperwork, and wait for my name to be called. By arriving early, you get the full benefit of waiting, which apparently is More Waiting and Thinking What's About to Happen To You.
I can't read with my eReader, I can't concentrate and I'm cold and tired. I pace and wander around. I look at the signs posted on the wall, which proclaim 'No Food Or Drink in This Area'. I look at the chairs provided, some of which have beverage holders. I strive to keep myself occupied, but don't succeed. In actuality I probably don't wait that long. My name is eventually called. My Colonoscopy is inching nearer...
Every Hospital procedure requires that a patient be gowned in Hospital-issued clothing. As mentioned earlier, I was able to keep my warm socks. Since having a Colonoscopy means curtailing calories for several days before the procedure, your body doesn't have all the fuel it needs to keep you comfortable. For me, having a Colonoscopy in Winter means no chance of being warm and comfortable. Wearing only a Hospital gown doesn't help. Fortunately I would be in a bed for the remainder of the process. Nurses would hook up an IV to my arm, and sensors would be attached to my chest. I would have sticky tape residue on me for days afterwards. I can honestly say that the only pain in the entire process was removing the tape. Even though I'm in a bed I'm encumered with wires and tubes but figure I can probably read something now. Then I realize that my eReader is in my jacket pocket. In a bag. Under the bed. It may as well be locked away in an underground vault in Greenland. Instead I close my eyes and try to rest. That doesn't work, but it gives me something to do.
Soon enough my bed (with me along for the ride!) is wheeled into the procedure suite. Anesthesiologist, Doctor, Nurse, and Nursing Student are attending. I'm going to be a learning experience for someone. Hopefully a positive experience for everyone involved. My nurses are fussing over the sensors, apparently they're not adhering properly to my chest. More waiting while the sensors are adjusted. My glasses are gently removed by someone. I'm asked to turn on my side. The procedure is ready to begin. I wonder when it will start...
I wake up in the recovery room. My procedure was probably 20 minutes, but I have no recollection of the exam or being brought back to the recovery room. I was asleep for the entire process. Now that time has passed, I can piece together the conversation that I had with my doctor about what he found during the process: A polyp was removed, near the original surgery site. There was some concern about the scar tissue, and the polyp would be sent for a biopsy. I would leave the Hospital positive that everything was fine. I would add this to my list of 'routine, boring, ho-hum' tests.
Your stay in the recovery area for a while. How long depends on several factors: Your doctor's recommendations of course, but more importantly by a fundamental action you need to perform: Pass Gas. The longer it takes to achieve this result, the longer you remain in the hospital. Suffice it to say that my lone technical contribution to that day's process was achieved. Several times. I could go home.
You are not allowed to drive, operate heavy equipment, and should not make financial decisions when you are just out of surgery. My caregiver was my chauffeur and my first decision of the day after I left the hospital was to eat something that wasn't Jello.
I would later find out that yogurt is probably the better way to resume normal eating activities: it's not so hard on your gut to restart its normal processing. Yogurt would certainly be gentler than the breakfast fare I had that morning. I really wasn't that hungry, but I was very tired. I would spent the remainder of the day alternately napping followed by bouts of doing nothing. I had successfully completed my third Colonoscopy. Now all I had to do is wait for the results.
When I left the Hospital, I was given an information packet that indicated I was to contact my doctor's office within six weeks to discuss the results of my procedure. I called the next day and was politely informed that the biopsy would be a few days. And a few days later I received a call: my follow up would be on March 20th, almost a month away. I felt confident that I had breezed through my Colonoscopy without issue. Then on Monday, March 10th I received another call, this time from my Oncologist. She had read my results, and there were some concerns. In two days I was being asked to come in and see her to discuss the findings.
During that intervening time I thought a lot about what this discovery meant. Would it mean a little detour on my journey, or the start of a path through uncharted territory? I didn't sleep well for those two nights, and I thought a lot of what I had gone through and wondered if I could do it again. In two days I'd know more, but until then I'd just have to wait.
Finally one more observation: the title of this post is: 'A Saga, Posing Twists'. It's an Anagram for 'waiting to pass gas'. Who says you can't have fun with a Colonoscopy?
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Family Day
A few years ago the province of Ontario announced that one day in February would become a civic holiday known as 'Family Day'. I like civic holidays, as I usually get to sleep in. Unfortunately this February the holiday fell on Monday, February 17th. No sleeping in for me that day, I was to meet my newest doctor.
Back in October of 2013 my Oncologist mentioned that I was due for my three year follow-up Colonoscopy. An appointment was made that coincided with that particular February Civic Holiday. Now a cold Monday morning finds me at my new doctor's office for my 8:30am appointment. So much for sleeping in on a holiday. Meeting a new doctor means being prepared to go over not only my current medical conditions, but past history, and family history too. It helps to have a list of all the meds you're currently taking. It also helps when a family member, in this case my sister, fills you in on all the details of your parents medical history. Both my parents had two incidents of cancer in their lives. Both my parents died of cancer. A detailed family history can make a crucial difference.
Past experience has taught me that the 'patient waiting room' means be patient in the 'waiting' room, so I bought along my usual entertainment device: eReader and tablet. I was ready to wait!
However a deserted waiting room greeted me when I arrived that morning. I suppose people were taking advantage of that sleeping-in-on-a-holiday thing. The receptionist verified my health card and mentioned that some places were now refusing to accept the old Red and White OHIP cards. My card is held together with tape, the magnetic strip is scratched and unusable, the numbers are faded. It's been with me through all my medical adventures, but today it served me once more.
Registration continued with paperwork for me to fill out: my medical history, my current meds, allergies...all the usual questions. Except for Crestor and Vitamins D and B12, I take very little in the way of medicine. Once completed I sat down for perhaps two minutes before I was ushered into the medical examination room. I would wait a couple of more minutes before the doctor arrived.
When he arrives, we chat about my current condition, why I am referred to him, if I notice any changes in my bowel or general health. He asks about my Cancer and the treatment I received, and seemed surprised that I had liver surgery for the metastases. I recount my history and family history There's a routine examination, and I'm up on the table being 'poked and prodded' once again. Nothing apparently out of place and I'm headed back to the receptionist to confirm an appointment for the Colonoscopy exam. I'll be scheduled for the next week, on February 26th at 08:40am.
My appointment confirmed, my prescription needed to be filled: laxatives and the preparatory agent know as Purgeodan. In my past I was always prescribed Colyte for this process, I wonder what the differences will be. I arrive at my usual pharmacy and discovered that they couldn't fulfill my prescription that day. Although it was filled by the next day, it is advisable to not wait til the last minute. Now all I need to do is plan the days until 'the main event'.
For myself the dreaded 'purge' day actually takes a bit of planning menu-wise. In general I've followed my old regimen to gradually reduces the food intake and the type of foods consumed prior to the purge. In general it goes something like this:
-No blood thinners / aspirin a week before the test
-soft foods three days before the test, and no fibre/nuts, things like scrambled eggs, mushy foods
-two days before the test was full fluids: plain yogurts, cream soups, nothing that you actually chew. No fruits in the yogurt either!
-one day before the test -the day of the purge is clear fluids only: so clear chicken broth and jello, black coffee or tea, and those jello's better not be red or blue!
The idea was to reduce the fibre and solid food intake, hopefully keeping lots of fluids in you for the day of the purge. Gatorade was suggested to keep the electrolyte levels up. Jello is suggested to fool you into thinking you're eating something good. I only eat Jello when I have to, sadly that summertime staple is now firmly associated with Hospitals and ("unfun") procedures.
One week before my test and I've had my prescription filled, and menu planned. My work schedule is cleared and I have two days to concentrate solely on my health. I'm as ready as I can be. I've done this before, so not concerned about the procedure. The only thing that matters is the results. In seven days I'll go through a twenty minute procedure. Twenty minutes that may change a life forever.
In all likelihood I won't be conscious during the procedure. Where else can you say that doing nothing for twenty minutes is the best thing you can do for your health!? I just hope I don't sleep in that day!
Back in October of 2013 my Oncologist mentioned that I was due for my three year follow-up Colonoscopy. An appointment was made that coincided with that particular February Civic Holiday. Now a cold Monday morning finds me at my new doctor's office for my 8:30am appointment. So much for sleeping in on a holiday. Meeting a new doctor means being prepared to go over not only my current medical conditions, but past history, and family history too. It helps to have a list of all the meds you're currently taking. It also helps when a family member, in this case my sister, fills you in on all the details of your parents medical history. Both my parents had two incidents of cancer in their lives. Both my parents died of cancer. A detailed family history can make a crucial difference.
Past experience has taught me that the 'patient waiting room' means be patient in the 'waiting' room, so I bought along my usual entertainment device: eReader and tablet. I was ready to wait!
However a deserted waiting room greeted me when I arrived that morning. I suppose people were taking advantage of that sleeping-in-on-a-holiday thing. The receptionist verified my health card and mentioned that some places were now refusing to accept the old Red and White OHIP cards. My card is held together with tape, the magnetic strip is scratched and unusable, the numbers are faded. It's been with me through all my medical adventures, but today it served me once more.
Registration continued with paperwork for me to fill out: my medical history, my current meds, allergies...all the usual questions. Except for Crestor and Vitamins D and B12, I take very little in the way of medicine. Once completed I sat down for perhaps two minutes before I was ushered into the medical examination room. I would wait a couple of more minutes before the doctor arrived.
When he arrives, we chat about my current condition, why I am referred to him, if I notice any changes in my bowel or general health. He asks about my Cancer and the treatment I received, and seemed surprised that I had liver surgery for the metastases. I recount my history and family history There's a routine examination, and I'm up on the table being 'poked and prodded' once again. Nothing apparently out of place and I'm headed back to the receptionist to confirm an appointment for the Colonoscopy exam. I'll be scheduled for the next week, on February 26th at 08:40am.
My appointment confirmed, my prescription needed to be filled: laxatives and the preparatory agent know as Purgeodan. In my past I was always prescribed Colyte for this process, I wonder what the differences will be. I arrive at my usual pharmacy and discovered that they couldn't fulfill my prescription that day. Although it was filled by the next day, it is advisable to not wait til the last minute. Now all I need to do is plan the days until 'the main event'.
For myself the dreaded 'purge' day actually takes a bit of planning menu-wise. In general I've followed my old regimen to gradually reduces the food intake and the type of foods consumed prior to the purge. In general it goes something like this:
-No blood thinners / aspirin a week before the test
-soft foods three days before the test, and no fibre/nuts, things like scrambled eggs, mushy foods
-two days before the test was full fluids: plain yogurts, cream soups, nothing that you actually chew. No fruits in the yogurt either!
-one day before the test -the day of the purge is clear fluids only: so clear chicken broth and jello, black coffee or tea, and those jello's better not be red or blue!
The idea was to reduce the fibre and solid food intake, hopefully keeping lots of fluids in you for the day of the purge. Gatorade was suggested to keep the electrolyte levels up. Jello is suggested to fool you into thinking you're eating something good. I only eat Jello when I have to, sadly that summertime staple is now firmly associated with Hospitals and ("unfun") procedures.
One week before my test and I've had my prescription filled, and menu planned. My work schedule is cleared and I have two days to concentrate solely on my health. I'm as ready as I can be. I've done this before, so not concerned about the procedure. The only thing that matters is the results. In seven days I'll go through a twenty minute procedure. Twenty minutes that may change a life forever.
In all likelihood I won't be conscious during the procedure. Where else can you say that doing nothing for twenty minutes is the best thing you can do for your health!? I just hope I don't sleep in that day!
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